Lacey was married to a good man who she loved and he loved her. They had a beautiful family together and they knew how to be good partners. From the outside, her life probably seemed picture perfect. She knew she had so much to be grateful for, and yet despite her best efforts, the traumatic relationship in her past was still wreaking havoc on her marriage. She knew her husband loved her, knew he was safe but still she struggled to engage with him sexually. In fact, she wanted so little to do with sex that she found herself subconsciously finding ways to push him away, like avoiding flirting or always finding reasons to be upset with him, in an attempt to avoid even the possibility of it. When she did try to push through out of guilt, she found herself either feeling triggered or completely checking out of her body just to get through it. Instead of intimacy bringing her closer to her husband, she felt like it was the wedge that was driving them apart. Desperate to improve this aspect of their marriage, Lacey tried everything she could think of, including therapy, to heal. While she was able to heal in a lot of other important ways, it felt like nothing had helped her actually want and enjoy sex. Lacey was beginning to lose hope, wondering if she was broken beyond repair.

Then she met Robyn. Someone who had been there herself. Someone who truly got it because she lived it, not just studied it. And not only someone who got it, but someone who got through it.

As Robyn coached Lacey, she met her with equal amounts of compassion and accountability. For the first time in her life, Lacey had someone who, with zero judgement, was able to help her see where she had given away her power . Robyn helped Lacey understand that, in an attempt to regain her agency, she had shut down her sexuality. But in doing so, she had disowned a fundamental part of who she is. Not because that’s all she’s good for, but because in order to shut down her God given sexuality, she must first shut down her passion, her authenticity, and her strength.

Robyn made it clear that Lacey did not have to reclaim her sexuality nor her desire for sex, but she could if that’s what she wanted. Once Lacey decided for herself that this was something that she wanted, Robyn helped show her the path to getting it back.

It was not an easy path. In fact, it was far from. But Lacey had done hard most of her life. And while this path was incredibly hard, it was a path that she continued to actively choose because she believed that on the other side of the discomfort and struggle was what she wanted: the ability to express and receive love and deep connection with her husband through her sexuality.